Monday, August 3, 2009

August

I've really been struggling these last few days. I don't know if it's just the month itself, or if it's just one of "those times."
I've decided to blame it on the whole month of August. There are so many things I love about the month, and so many things I don't care for.

Things I don't like about August...
1. The kids are going back to school.
2. Brooklyn will only be gone half day.
3. Olivia's birthday is in August.
4. Zac is back to working full days and into the evenings.
5. Summer is coming to an end.

Things I love about August...
1. The kids are going back to school.
2. Brooklyn will only be gone half day.
3. Olivia's birthday is in August.
4. Zac is back to working full days and into the evenings.
5. Fall is almost here!

Do you see why I'm torn? We obviously can't get rid of the month of August. It's going to come around at least once a year.
I miss Olivia terribly these past few days. Maybe it's because her birthday is at the end of this month. Maybe it's because life has been slowing down and I've had more time to think about things. Maybe it's because I feel like I have too much time on my hands (we haven't had this clean of a house or laundry done for this many consecutive days in years, if ever). Maybe it's because I'm tired and haven't been able to sleep for days. Maybe it's because it's a "normal" part of a grieving process. Or maybe it's just because. Just one of those sad times with wonderful memories that we get to keep with us forever. You can't say that about many things - forever is a really long time. So, here's to August. I hope we can be friends again sometime soon;)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Julie, I feel the same way. I think it was turning Olivia's calendar over and knowing her birthday is coming up. I'm so excited about Hannah, but I miss Olivia. I hope they are planning a really fun birthday party for her in heaven. She will be so excited to eat ice cream with her cake! Miss you Livs! Suzanne

Alyssa Cabrera said...

Thinking of you and crying at your likes and don't likes of August. Hope I get to see you soon and hope August is your friend again soon.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you had a great vacation. I only wish reality and August didn't have to rear their ugly heads when you get back home. Know that there are lots of people still praying for you each day. I know Reid really enjoyed spending time with Z Chat on the St Jude run. It really meant alot to Reid to be there, only wish the rest of us had been home to see it but we have great Alaska pics to share sometime...take care Lisa

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you Julie....always in our prayers!!
Take care!
Kara

Claire said...

I'll be praying for you and thinking of you this month, honey.

Cxx

Anonymous said...

Always thinking of you and praying for you!
Love,
Jen Weber

Anonymous said...

what a beautiful post...
take it all in julie, and breath...
you are so brave, but it is okay to feel vunerable too....
I am sending a big, big hug your way and also a hot, fresh cup of coffee...

I love you...
Ann

Judy said...

It's way too late over here in EST, but I'm still up sitting at the computer and I just wanted you to know that you came to mind and I'm going to head to bed right now and pray for you guys! Love ya!