Mixed feelings.

We've been talking a lot about our feelings around here lately. That's a good thing, obviously, but we all seem to be having a lot of mixed emotions lately.
We are so excited to go to Florida this weekend, but we are so sad to be going without Olivia. We are flying down. We had originally planned to drive because of Olivia's medical equipment, so we are feeling a sense of guilt that we are flying. It sounds silly, but a feeling nonetheless.
We've been doing so many fun things lately - going to the zoo, museums, bowling, etc..., and I feel bad that things seem so "easy" now. I never once felt burdened because of Olivia, but yet another feeling. I think we've just had a lot more time to miss Olivia lately.
I had a talk with her at the cemetery tonight. I told her how much we are missing her and how we feel her presence every day in everything that we do. Jack and Brooklyn still pray for her every night and say how sorry they are that she is in Heaven. We have to remind them that Olivia is the lucky one. That's hard to explain to kids, and it's something that we have to constantly remind ourselves of, too.