Friday, December 18, 2009

The flood.

I had an unexpected conversation with Brooklyn the other night. It was just the two of us and we were on our way to her last soccer practice (thank goodness!). I don't remember exactly what we were talking about to get on the subject, but she asked me if she was sad when she found out that Olivia had gone to Heaven. I told her that when we originally said that Olivia wasn't going to be with us for very much longer, she was very sad, but the day she died, I think she was kind of expecting it, in a way. They had just been in to see her and to say goodbye and I'm sure she had picked up on the emotional cloud that loomed in the room that day.
She then proceeded to ask a lot of questions about how we found out that Olivia had died. I explained that I was holding her and her heart just stopped. "But, how did you know her heart stopped?" We talked about the monitors and how they showed that kind of stuff and that the doctor came in and told us she was gone. Anyway, an enormous flood of memories came back to me from that exact moment. It's one of those bittersweet moments that I'll never, ever forget. It's one of those moments that you read about happening to other people. I remember, so clearly, telling Olivia that if she was tired, it was okay to go. Within minutes, that was it.
So, why am I telling you all of this?
There are some families up in our PICU that are going through the same thing right now. Please pray for them. The nurses and the doctors are growing weary and need some extra prayers, too. These people are amazing. They invest their whole being into these kids and their families. It's been an extremely tough year up there, but it's so important for these docs and nurses to remember that, regardless of the outcome, they can only do so much. I remember when the doctors told us that anything they were doing medically, was being done 'to' Olivia, and no longer 'for' Olivia. This is when we knew it was time to let the Great Physician take over and He decided to give Olivia complete healing. Yes, we lost, but she won. Who could want anything more for their child? She is an amazing success story. So, an extra prayer for guidance, strength, comfort, and peace for our friends, and for all people struggling right now couldn't hurt, right?


Anonymous said...

Beutifully said special. Lots of prayers being said....

Anonymous said...

You are simply amazing, Julie! Thank you for your encouragement, prayers, and faithful testimony. Remembering all of you and especially Livs.

Kim, RN

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the encouraging words. It has been tough. God has chosen 'us' to be the ones to do this sometimes difficult, but wonderful job. Being able to help some amazing families during tough times provides us with strength. Thinking of you and your family during the holidays. I wear my Livy band everyday--she will always bring me strength! :)

Amy, RRT

Anonymous said...

Yes, we will pray for you as you go through this season, and for all those who serve selflessly. Keep sharing. It encourages many more than you know.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your post Julie!! Thanks for very kind words and the prayers!! Thinking of all of you and especially Livs!
Sarah- SW

Claire said...

What a beautiful post. I will be sending prayers.


Anonymous said...

Your family is always in our prayers but we will add the rest of the families and medical staff tonignt as well. Hope you have a beautiful Christmas filled with much laughter and many memories.

The Fulkersons